How and why we benefit from rituals: 12-10-18

For just a few minutes today I want to take you back to this past Wednesday and the state funeral service for former President George H. W. Bush.

I do it not to talk about Bush's faith or what I think he got right and wrong in his tumultuous time in office. Rather, I want to make a point about the importance and value of ritual.

In our pedal-to-the-floor culture, ritual seems not to have as many friends as it once did. Part of the reason, besides everyone being pressed for time, is that some rituals are empty and some memorialize values we'd be better off ditching.

But ritual done right -- and for the right reasons -- can be healing, fulfilling and memorable. Rituals can connect us to our past as a way of finding a constructive road to the future. They can celebrate what has been and express gratitude for that. And they can inspire us to hold onto healthy values that can improve the common good.

In many ways, the Bush funeral at the National Cathedral offered all of that. And in the Episcopal tradition, it drew on ancient sources that have served countless generations.

In 2012, an Episcopal priest friend of mine, Susan Marie Smith, wrote a wonderful small book about the value of ritual, Caring Liturgies: The Pastoral Power of Christian Ritual. And when she used the term ritual, she meant not only the Christian liturgy employed for Bush's funeral but also for new rituals that are made up for specific purposes and needs -- and sometimes used only once, such as the short ring ceremony that I devised for use when I was remarried 22 years ago. In that brief ceremony, we gave Celtic woven rings to each of our children as a symbol of the new family we were blending together.

"Good rituals," Susan wrote, "have the right balance of continuity with the ordinary (such as a family dinner, Sunday worship) and contrast from the ordinary (for example, birthday cake and gifts, farewell prayers and blessings). Without enough 'symbolic rupture' or contrast, ritual will not hold enough power to effect change. With too much contrast or symbolic rupture, the particular worshipers will not be able to relate to or understand the event. To make holy, one sets apart. Ritual is a way of using strategies to set apart, to alter the every day to make one moment, one instance of an event, special, singled out and holy, so that it matters and is memorable."

Earlier in my life, when I knew a lot more than I know now, I was mostly suspicious of ritual, believing that it often was a crutch for people who didn't know what else to do. But I have come to understand that ritual, as Susan suggested, can set apart an important time as "special, singled out and holy."

That's what we witnessed as we watched the Bush funeral. That the ceremony also spoke about values and ways of doing life and politics that now seem to be in retreat was simply a bonus.

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AN UNFINISHED GOSPEL?

A new book suggests that the gospel of Mark in the New Testament wasn't a completed work but, rather, a collection of notes. It's a terrific excuse for writers today to use. In fact, I now declare that I've never really finished any blog post, column or book I've ever written. When I get the time to do that my words will make much more sense. I think.