England's eventual female bishops: 7-24-14
There's God now, up there: 7-26/27-14

Break time for a laugh: 7-25-14

It's been far too long since we took a bit of time out for alleged humor of the faith-based sort here. So today, on the anniversary of the 1968 publication of Pope Paul VI's encyclical Humanae Vitae, which I didn't find one bit funny (and which a majority of American Catholics pretty much rejected or ignored), we're going to do that.

LaughfaceA reminder that I don't make up these jokes. If you don't think they're funny, send me better ones.

* Three men are traveling on a ship when they are accosted by the devil. The devil proposes that if each man drops something into the sea and he cannot find it, he will be that man's slave. If the devil does find it, however, he will eat that man up. The first man drops a pure, clear diamond, and immediately gets eaten. The second drops an expensive watch, trying to impress the devil, and gets eaten. The third man fills a bottle with water and pours it into the sea yelling, "You think I'm a fool? Try finding that!"

* A bus full of ugly people had a head-on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again."

A little boy wants a bike for Christmas really badly, but the kid is a real bad seed, and he knows it. He writes a letter to Jesus. "Dear Jesus, if I get a bike for Christmas, I'll be good for a whole week." He thinks about it, crosses out what he wrote, and says, "I can't be good for a whole week, I'll be good for five days." He crosses that out and writes, "I'll be good for four days." Then he thinks again and says, "Can't do that." He gets down to one day and says, "I can't even be good for a day." Then in frustration, HE goes into his mother's room and gets the statue of the Virgin Mary, wraps it up in a blanket, puts it in a paper bag, throws it in the closet and says, "Dear Jesus, if I don't get a bike for Christmas, you'll never see your mother again!"

Three nuns walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks.

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The Washington National Cathedral, which I visited recently and wrote about here, has created a special liturgy of atonement to mark the upcoming 100th anniversary of the start of World War I. That war began perhaps the bloodiest century in the history of humanity. Think about that, those of you who think things just get better and better.


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