The Holocaust by bullets: 9-5/6-09
Scripture and the gay issue: 9-8-09

Faith-based humor: 9-7-09

With so many Americans unemployed, do we also need an Unlabor Day?

Laughface

Well, I can't hire anyone to help relieve the problem, but I can provide a bit of comic relief today by passing along a few faith-based jokes from various sources (including Beliefnet.com). Those various sources do not include me. As I've explained before, if I made up jokes, they'd be better than the ones I give you here.

1. A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, "You're a man of God. Can't you do something about this?"

He replied, "Sorry, I can't. I'm in sales, not management."

2. One day St. Peter saw a street gang walking up to the Pearly Gates.

He ran to God and said, "There are some low-life street gang members at the Gates. What do I do?"

God replied, "Just do what you normally do with that type: Redirect them."

St. Peter went back to carry out the order but he suddenly came running back, yelling, "God, God, they're gone! They're gone!"

"The street gang?"

"No, the Pearly Gates."

3. The mayor of a Jewish village decided to create an additional room in their home.

His wife spoke to the general contractor for some time. They laughed and enjoyed what seemed like a long conversation. Her husband asked what they were talking about. The woman introduced the two men and the general contractor returned to his work.

The husband asked, "Did you know each other?"

The wife replied, "Yes, actually. We were engaged to be married when I was very young."

Her husband smiled and said. "Wow, I guess you should be happy you married me. I'm the mayor. If you had married him, you would have been married to a general contractor."

"No," she replied. "He would have been the mayor."

* * *

 

HELLO? IS ANYONE HEARING THIS MESSAGE?

 

Pope Benedict XVI spoke again Sunday about the horrors of war as he marked the 70th anniversary of the start of World War II. He can't say it enough. And yet, who is listening?

* * *

P.S.: Until Tuesday, Sept. 8, my Internet access will be sporadic at best. That means a long time may go by between you posting a comment here and it being published. Thanks for your patience.

* * *

ANOTHER P.S.: Please plan to join me and my co-author, Rabbi Jacques Cukierkorn, at one of the two upcoming (Sept. 10 and Sept. 13) events described here to launch our new book, They Were Just People: Stories of Rescue in Poland During the Holocaust. Rainy Day Books will be there to help you buy a copy and you'll even get to meet some of the people whose remarkable stories we tell in the book.


 

Comments

Susan

Bill, I specially liked that joke about the mayor's wife.

From yesterday -- thank you, Iggy, for linking us to those wonderful evolution videos. The more we learn about this stuff, the more amazed my 9yo is that there are really people who think all this happened in 6 days.

It was fascinating hearing about how the two different species -- Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens -- co-existed and had some interactions for a while. I wonder what other human-like, or human, species we'll learn about -- i.e. that Hobbit-like creature they found in Southeast Asia -- which they think may even still be here, though hidden.

And how neat about the brain development -- that it happened because of increased amounts of protein being available. And of course as the brain developed enough that man could visualize tools, problem-solve, and formulate strategies for obtaining even greater amounts of meat, that increased protein increased brain-size even more, which enabled our ancestors to live even more cooperatively, problem-solve even better, and get even more meat to help their brains even more.

Reminds me of that verse -- "Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him." Matthew 13:12. Goes along with that saying -- wealth begets wealth and poverty begets poverty -- but, ahem, I like to think this means that if I see my cup as half-full, it'll get filled -- whereas if I see it as half-empty, I'm about to lose everything. It makes me feel more like I have a say, LOL (but I'm not just laughing, I believe I really do have a choice).

Susan

Also from yesterday -- adamh/Will, I agree that leaders should be public servants. And I realize that even though that's what they're "called" here in America, we have many self-seeking leaders (though I honestly believe that President Obama is a true public servant) -- just as we have many self-seeking individuals in church leadership.

I feel we are headed in the right direction by being a democracy, and by the wise way in which our founding fathers limited the power of the federal government.

By the way, I feel a whole lot more upset about the Salem Witch trials than I do about the Gulags -- namely because they happened here, in our nation which was supposedly striving to be free, and not in some Communist Dictatorship or some other kind of Dictatorship. I'm glad our founding fathers had the wisdom, after this, to realize we needed a separation of Church and State.

Cole mentioned percentages the other day, which got me thinking that the 19 people murdered in the Salem Witch trials were probably a pretty large percentage of our population at that time. As well as this being a big part of our population that got killed through our nation's early backsliding into theocracy, it's also a concern because, as I've already pointed out, theocracy is the goal of the Coalition On Revival -- and it's probably also the goal of The Family which Bill and Red Biddy have written about.

We need to remember WHY we have separation of Church and State, so we'll be ready to put up a fight if/when some of these theocracy advocates decide they want to push for some sort of a Moral Majority mob rule. Will/adamh -- you say you don't want theocracy, either. And I've actually heard some other conservative Christians say the same, which gives me hope.

Will Graham

Bill, you ask who is listening to Pope Benedict?

Well, more than are listening to you and your atheist troll gang.

Dolores Lear

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance

This Pledge was written in the 1890s and was made part of Government in 1942.

Citizens need to work on Equality of Jobs for All. Why do some jobs pay billions of dollars, and some pay minimum wage? Because God makes Unequal Humans? Or do Humans make Unequal Humans? Who is in charge of Planet Earth?

http://www.commonwealmagazine.org/blog/?p=2189

Similar comments are still going on in all phases of Life on Earth, not just in the USA. The Past History of Earth is Inequality of All Brothers/Sisters of LIFE. Why?

The Original Sin of the Perfect Peace Humans that God made 'supernaturally', who then began Reproducing Imperfect Killer Humans, by Body Birth?

What other example for Sin, is there. Just Disobeying does not work. Disobeying How? By taking over Reproduction from God?

With our High Tech today, we Know Humans in a High Tech Lab can correct Genetic and Physical Mistakes that Humans get from Body Birth. So Body Birth is the Original Sin to make Defective Genetic and Physical Humans?

Or, did God make Defective Humans when he made the female from the male rib?

With out High Tech today, we do 'Create' a Human fetus in the lab, and with a High Tech Womb could reproduce a Human Being. Was this Possible 'in the beginning' by God/Us, in our Human Image, that reproduced a Female from the Male Rib?

Sound like High Tech today, instead of the 'Supernatural' of 100 years ago?

Should our Unequal Birth Labor Day Celebration, start looking for Ways to make High Tech Birth Life more Equal for All?

memberofKCFreeThinkers.org

Will said, “Christ declared that rulers should serve, not control, the people. Thus, he put a limitation on State”

Christ declared nothing. The person who wrote that in the bible said that. We people are real. Invisible people are not. What makes people think this?

Amen Susan. Why can’t people believe in whatever supernaturalism they want without wanting others to believe it too?

Will, adam and Jim why not give up all the last 100 yrs of science and only pray for what you want.

Bill is right. These are bad times for work. So you guys quit your professions, or school, and pray for new ones.

Will said, “Bill, you ask who is listening to Pope Benedict?
Well, more than are listening to you and your atheist troll gang.”

Aw, Will, are you lonely? Feeling insecure again? Well don’t worry. I’m searching for a cure for that gap between your ears. How’s the egg doing…?

The 'Belief Gap'
http://www.livescience.com/culture/etc/090713-the-belief-gap.html

Lord Save Us from Your Followers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QQtfjnvdJQ

Peace For the Sake of Goodness Cole

adam harrison

Susan/Iggy...since you adress me as adam/Will I will return the compliment...your comparison of the 19 killed in the Salem Witch trials to the 20 million plus that were killed in the Gulags is so Willfully ignorant of statistics and history that I will leave your remark for Posterity! LOL!

Lynne - www.kcfreethinkers.org

A man bought a horse from a priest (or maybe it was a pastor or Rev. - not really important to the story here). The priest explained to the man, who was only half-listening, that in order to make the horse go, you say, "Thank God!" and to make him stop you say, "Amen!"

So off the man goes with his new horse. He gets on and says "Thank God!" and the horse trots off. The man is enjoying the scenery as the horse starts going faster..and then faster, and faster.

Off in the distance, the man sees a cliff. He says, "Whoa, horsey!" The horse only goes faster. He says, "Whoa! Stop!" and pulls on the reins, and the horse just goes faster. Then the man remembered that there was something in particular he was supposed to say to get the horse to stop. What was it? He couldn't remember!

He was fast approaching the cliff, panicking because he couldn't remember how to make the horse stop when suddenly it came to him: "AMEN!" he shouted. The horse came to a sudden stop just once inch before the edge of the cliff!

When the man saw how close he'd come to falling to his death he said, "Whew! Thank God!"

Lynne - www.kcfreethinkers.org

A nun was snorting cocaine and spilled some on her head gear. Later that day, another nun told her, you're uniform is stained. She replied, "Oh yeah, I know. It's a bad habit."

Susan

http://www.alternet.org/story/142384/an_army_of_home-schooled_%22christian_soldiers%22_on_a_mission_to_%22take_back_america_for_god%22

"An Army of Home-Schooled 'Christian Solders' On a Mission to 'Take Back America for God'" -- I learned about this article from my local secular homeschoolers chat-board. It's interesting that the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) is the one who started this hands-on civics course, and Michael Farris who heads HSLDA is also a part of the Coalition On Revival which seems to be pretty clearly pushing for a conservative Christian theocracy.

This Generation Joshua group says they are for religious freedom -- but somehow I have a feeling they are NOT for secular government with continued separation of church and state. The organization lets families know which candidates are "pro-family" and "pro-homeschooling."

I do wish there were more Democratic candidates who were openly-supportive of homeschooling. From my understaning it is tough for them, because the Democratic Party gets a great deal of its support from teacher's unions, and teacher's unions tend to be somewhat less than enthusiastically-supportive of homeschooling -- though of course there are many individual public schoolteachers who decide to homeschool their own children -- the organizations, I guess, see homeschooling as a threat to their livelihood.

I'm not sure why, though, because I think there will always be some families who feel public school is the best option for them. It's kind of like the obstetricians who don't like home birth: whereas I think that more women with normal pregnancies deciding to birth at home, frees up the obstetricians to focus in on the high-risk pregnancies that they are specially-trained to deal with, it seems like they'd rather treat ALL pregnancies as high-risk. These organizations just aren't grateful to homeschoolers and homebirthers for lightening their loads, LOL.

Red Biddy

Well Will Graham, you've obviously "got it in" for Bill, as well as his "atheist troll gang" as your 7.00 a.m. post revealed !
Did you know that the word "troll" has at least three different meanings ?
Used as an insult - "troll" conjures up a not too bright mythical Swedish beast something on the lines of that portrayed in the first Harry Potter book, but the word can also mean "singing lustily" (Trollalallala !) and a method of fishing which involves moving around a net in the hopes of catching something.
Hope this information was helpful.
Atheist troll - Red Biddy

Susan

adamh, this is the first time you've said anything to indicate that you don't like being lumped together with Will. And so often when I've directed a question to one of you, the other has answered. So I seriously thought that you were either the same person, or else were good friends who had identical opinions about everything.

I will try really hard in future to remember which of you said what.

And, I hadn't realized it was so hard to tell my posts from Iggy's. But just to clarify -- I'M the one who compared the Salem Witch trials to the Gulags.

Do you, as Americans, NOT find it more upsetting that our own government would behave in such a totalitarian way? Yes, I realize many more people were killed in gulags -- but those governments weren't claiming to respect freedom of religion. I don't mean to downplay the horror of the gulags -- I just think we should be focusing first on our own nation's errors.

With groups like the Coalition On Revival, The Family, and Generation Joshua out there, I think we need to remember what happened in the past to prompt our founding fathers to separate church and state. So we'll be diligent in upholding that separation -- and also in upholding the limitations on government's ability to interfere with our daily lives. This balance is so important, and I don't downplay the concerns some have about increased government support for healthcare, leading to increased governmental involvement in famililes.

I still think we desparately need healthcare reform -- everyone just needs to be vigilant in reading the fine print so that nobody's rights are sacrificed in the process.

Red Biddy

I'm sorry I even mentioned the Salem witch trials as Will G went off at half-cock comparing the nineteen so called witches killed at that time with the numbers of those killed in the Gulags. As Stalin said "One death is a fact - a million killed, a statistic !"

I could have mentioned the millions of so called witches killed by burning in the Middle Ages as well but that wasn't the point of my comment in regard to "spectral evidence" being banned from american courts by the governor of Massachusets - a day we should celebrate: October 12th, 1692 !
Will believes that the Enlightenment "weakened" Christianity a "bad" thing in his view, but obviously the period of the Enlightenment and the men who led the movement (Voltaire, John Locke, et al) led to the civilizing of Christian Europe away from the many cruel and horrific practices of the Christian church of prior times.
We should none of us forget that the men who wrote the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of these United States were products of the Enlightenment without whom this nation would probably have never been created.

Fnu

Bill,
Good humor, I like the first one the most as an atheist.

Fnu

Bill, Will Graham and adamh,
Here is a link to a person you will not think is a humorist!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P47OC439x88

It may provide you a bit of relief today, by passing along a few faith-based jokes, if you can understand why.

Lynne - www.kcfreethinkers.org

Since time immemorial, religious people have accused atheists of "playing God". After reading the site here: http://www.playinggods.com/ I'm thinking maybe it's not such a bad idea!

Will Graham

There goes Red Biddy again, throwing around numbers that she has no factual basis for.

Millions of witches killed in the middle ages?

No way.

Not according to Wikipedia, the source loved by atheists everywhere!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch_trials

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