The elixir of freedom: 9-15-2008
Is religion a downer? 9-17-2008

Faith's funny side: 9-16-2008

It's been way too long since we took a levity break here, what with all the goings on, some of which Palin comparison to others.


So today we'll pause for some faith-based humor, none of which is original with me. Some it comes from, some from other sources, including you.

And we begin with a question:

Q: What do you call a non-churchgoing Christian?

A. A Seventh-Day Absentist

^ ^ ^

A child was watching his mother sift through and delete a long list of junk E-mail on the computer screen.

"This reminds me of the Lord's Prayer," the child said.

"What do you mean?" the mother asked.

"You know. That part about 'deliver us from E-mail."

^ ^ ^

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."

His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

^ ^ ^

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were missing because of hunting season.  I had the whole congregation pray for your deer."

One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe."

* * *


Pope Benedict XVI, speaking at Lourdes, suggested that people accept their deaths "at the hour chosen by God," this report says. So I ask: Do you think God chooses the moment of death for each person? If so, is the moment chosen at the time of birth or some later time? If not, what role does God have in our deaths?

To read my latest Kansas City Star work, click here.



Dolores Lear

What Role does God have in our Deaths? God is a God of the Living, not the Dead. Why is a Loving and Peace God, blamed for all the disasters and Death?

Psalm 68:4,5. KJV. "Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH, and rejoice before him."

New English Bible. Psalm 68:4b. "- extol him (God) who rides over the desert plains."

The Living Bible. Psalm 68:4b. "- Raise your voice in song to him (Jehovah) who rides upon the clouds!

Exodus 19: 18-21a. KJV. "And mount Sinai was altogether on a smoke, because the Lord descended upon it in fire: and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly. And when the voice of the trumpet sounded long, and waxed louder and louder, Moses spake, and God answered him by a voice. And the Lord came down upon Mount Sinai, on the top of the mountain and the Lord called Moses up to the top of the mount; and Moses went up. And the Lord said unto Moses, -"

Who were the Supernatural Flying Gods of Religion and Myth, that walked and talked on Earth? Our Peace High Tech Human Ancestors that Colonized Life on Earth? The Noah/Atlantis Society that were a High Tech Killing Society like Humans today, destroyed in the Planetary Flood?

In the King James version, was the JAH the letters on God's vehicle, like we use USA? Would JAH, or JHWH (Yahweh), stand for the Planet Jupiter, or another Solar System?

A High Tech Science translation of Religion and Myth, will reveal with High Tech Science Birth and Regeneration, the Human Species Can Have Eternal Physical Life After Birth, like God JAH, on Planets and in Spaceships.

Joe Barone

God created us as mortal human beings. That's the role God plays in human death.

Either we are owned lock, stock and barrel by God or we are not. Either our every move and every act including dying is run by God or none are.

Maybe the trick to life is to take our strength from our faith and live our lives, our own lives, which are not run by God, as best we can.

Joe Barone

Bill, It was time for some humor in this column. Thanks.


Joe Barone,

Which god has created us again? Out of thousands of other gods in the past, present and the future? Check out the list of gods Christians reject and don't believe in -

Then understand that the same people who believed in the gods you rejected have also rejected your god in the past, present and the future - it's always been like this, it will always be like this.

When you believe in Jesus, you are already an atheist WHEN IT COMES TO ALL OTHER GODS besides the holy trinity. Some of us just take it one step further.

You do understand that you are born an atheist? You are not born in sin, not of sin, you are just born and you make the best of it. Theistic Bible Quote Miners (like JustThining) will do everything to comb through the comics of the Bible to find meaning and through a systematic robotic like approach of faith they plug along the path of "testifying" about their faith as if they are another brick in the wall of "solemn glory of god that is like a serial killer who is always plotting against innocent children for the sins of their parents" -

Here is a logical, step by step show for you why your only intellectually honest position should be to step outside the bubbles of your religious delusion -


Joe Barone,

I did not copy the link properly for a logical, step by step show for you why your only intellectually honest position should be to step outside the bubbles of your religious delusion -


Joe, I always appreciate your comments here. You are always thoughtful and on topic.
But I wonder if God's participation in our lives is necessarily all or none. The more I think about it (and the longer I live) the more I think our lives are a collaborative process between God and us. God does not force God's self on us but nevertheless is always present, willing to be an active part and presence in our lives.

Just Thinking


You completely misunderstand Christianity, because the only thing you know about it is what you have read from people attacking it. You haven't studied it. You haven't thought about it. You've rejected it. You've been fed remarks by others, and you've biased your mind to believe that they are telling you truth, because that's what you want to believe. Of course it looks like foolishness to you, because you deny the eternal. You deny the existence of God. That is an assumption of yours. You support your position by taking things out of context and misinterpreting.

"Babies starve." That is the very example that Job raised. Bad things happen in this world. Ultimate justice is eternal justice, not the justice of this world. There is no such thing as justice in this world. You can't find it. There's no such thing as perfection in this world. You won't find it. So why does your mind strive to find something WHICH DOES NOT EXIST in this world? Have you ever considered that basic question? Why would you think there is ultimate justice, right and wrong, or perfection of any type? Why? You obviously do, or you would not argue that you have some perfect way of viewing the world. And you do think that way because you do argue that way. For example:

In your world, there is perfection, but only in you. That's evident from the way you write. You sit in the judgment throne against God Himself as you say to yourself, "God does not exist because His justice could not fit with MY sense of justice." Well, His judgment is eternal, and that changes the entire picture. You start with the assumption that there is no eternal, and reach the conclusion that there is no eternal!

Joe Barone

To me, the collaboration comes through faith.

Dolores Lear

All Heterosexual Born Children depend on their Parents, and the Society/Environment where they are born, as to the Way they should follow, when they are grown.

You probably did not start out a FreeThinker, until you grew up.

All Human Ways of growing up, must now look to the High Tech Science Way, of Equal Male and Female Clone Asexual Birth, for 'Eternal' Physical Life After Birth, on Planets and in Spaceships. It is Possible. It happened on our Earth 'in the beginning'.

All the Fallen Human Body Birth Ways, Called Original Sin, lead to Physical Death. Once a Society returns, to the Faith in the High Tech Science, of our Colonizing Fathers/Mothers, We Will Unite in One Way for All Humans to be Born, on our Home Planet.

With our High Tech Science Knowledge today, we can accept the High Tech Science Recorded in Genesis, not just a Christian reference, but for many ancient writings and religions.

Jesus said the Only Way to Live to have Eternal Life, is as a Child. Than means when a Male Child Matures, the Way is Not making a Child by Heterosexual Body Birth, like the Asexual Adam and Eve Clones did.

The Heterosexual Males should Not use the Female Womb for Imperfect Mis-bred Children. There is a Way that is Right with the Lord God, to Eternal Pure-bred Physical Life After Birth. It is not After Physical Death.

With our Return to High Tech Science Reproduction in the lab, and in our spaceships that fly in Space, Humans are Finding the Right Way to have Eternal Physical Life After Birth, on Planets and in Spaceships.


Joe, I think I understand what you were saying better now. Thanks for the clarification


You get about 1000 serious groan points for the pun on Palin, Bill. Good one. Thanks for the laughs.


I find it a little strange that a question is asked about God, and there was so little reference to the Bible to try to answer it.

Psalm 139:16 says "Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began."

Seems to me that the answer would not be "at the time of birth" or "some later time" but before time began.


PreacherDJ wrote:
I find it a little strange that a question is asked about God, and there was so little reference to the Bible to try to answer it.

Have you considered that the Bubble is a work of fiction and looking for answers to real life questions in a fictional work of art is kind of defeating the purpose?

adam harrison

Just thinking, your comments are always right on point.

Just a note, in case you didn't see it, "KCFreethough" is just Iggy up to his old games, so I wouldn't take him seriously.
He bragged at a meeting about how he like to quote mine and post seemingly infammatory messages to get everyone thrown of track.

He will consistently try to derail post, and then accuse YOU of being a Troll or "irrational" if you call him one it.

This is just an advertising stunt, and his group recently put up a billboard they are having trouble paying for on I 35...but it's too far off the highway and is over a junkyard! Really kind of funny!


It's kind of difficult for me to look at the Bible as a work of fiction when the things it says about the past turn out to be true and the things it says about the future also turn out to be true.

But, fiction or not, if you were asked a question about Ebenezer Scrooge, would you not consult "A Christmas Carol"? Quite the opposite of defeating the purpose, it would be the most logical place to reference. But then, perhaps asking someone who adamantly refuses to acknowledge God despite a plethora of evidence to employ logic may be a bit optimistic on my part.

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