July 2, 2007

A BIBLICAL COMPROMISE?

In Iowa, officials have come up with a compromise solution to allow a Bible-based program to continue in a prison. Seems like a reasonable approach. What do you think?

* * *

FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK

As we roll toward the Fourth of July (every country has one; in fact, every calendar has one), it's time to take a bit of a break and laugh. Or at least smile. Unless you have no sense of humor, in which case, you might want to be on another blog today (does columnist Ann Coulter have a blog?).

Today, it's faith-based humor here. Again, the disclaimer: These jokes are not original with me. Many, but not all, come from Beliefnet.com, a good spiritual site.

If you don't like these jokes, send me better ones. (I'll be the judge of whether they're better, because humor is always in the eye of the blogger.)

1. "Mr. Goldblatt," said little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."

"What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well, according to the Bible, the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?

"Right."

"And the children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"

"Right."

"And the children of Israel built the temple, right?"

"Right again."

"And the children of Israel fought the Egyptians and the children of Israel fought the Romans and the children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"

"Yes, all correct," said Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"

"What were all the grown-ups doing?"

* * *

2. Two men, sentenced to die on the same day, were led down to the room where the electric chair was. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden and a final prayer had been said. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"

"Yes, sir, I do," he said. "I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?"

"Of course," said the warden.

He turned to the other man and asked for his request.

"Please," said the man. "Kill me first."

* * *

3. A priest came to a dying author to read him his last rites.

"Do you reject the Devil?" the priest asked.

Replied the author: "This is no time to be making enemies."

* * *

4. A rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual Fourth of July picnic. (See, I told you this had something to do with the upcoming holiday.) They were old friends and began to banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really should try it. I know it's against your religion but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden. You don't know what you're missing. You haven't lived until you've tried this prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, rabbi, when will you break down and try it?"

The rabbi replied, "At your wedding."

To read my latest Kansas City Star work, click here.

Comments

[Ruth from Tucson]

Thew reason Moses and his gang wandered around in the desert for so many years is that the men were too stubborn to ask diretions.

[Joe Barone]

If private donors fund it, do private donors have input into the content? Maybe Iowa's idea is not such a good idea after all.

[Dolores Lear]

What are we Free From, in the USA? England and Cathology?
Was that why we had the Revolutionary War? We have a majority of Catholics in the Supreme Court today, making the Law of the Land.
It would be wonderful if we could use the 4th of July for Freedom from Mis-bred Body Birth, which keeps All people in Human Bondage, and all the resulting wages of sin.
To Be or not to Be Equal Humans Again, with Agaape Love for all Brothers/Sisters and All Life on Earth, would bring Peace and Equality back to Earth, 'as it was in the beginning'.

[Tom Sparks]

Any jokes about Muslims, or just Jews and Christians?

[Ruth from Tucson]

To Tom

This one has moss on it and I have sent it at least once to this blog. But here it is again.

A Priest and a rabbi were serving very rich congregations. Each wanted to prove that they were on the true path.

One day it was very cold and their cars would not start. The priest sprayed holy water on his and his engine started. He looked smugly at the rabbi. The rabbi got a hack saw and sawed off the last inch of the tail pipe and took off.

[Patricia]

You asked for Muslim jokes.....from Muslims......

--------
Q. Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness?
A. There are nomad people there.
---------
Nasrudin asked a recent convert to Islam whether he cried when he became a Muslim. “So did I,” said Nasrudin.
-------
One way to avoid Muslims is to go to Hell.
-------
Q: How did the Pentagon know that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction?
A: They still had the receipts.
----------
Nasrudin wondered why little nuts grow on big trees and big pumpkins grow on little vines. A nut fell on his head. He said, “Oh, Allah, where would I be if pumpkins grew on trees?”

[Patricia]

Nasrudin, incidentally, is the 600 year old traditional Islamic wise-fool and subject humorous stories or jokes teaching parables in the Islamic culture.

More on Nasrudin here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasreddin

More Nasrudin stories here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasreddin

[Patricia]

Sorry. The Nasrudin stories are here:
http://www.geocities.com/photo_photo3030/nasrudin-stories.html

[Dave Miller]

JT, I'd be interested in any thoughts you might have on the Bible-based prison program Bill identified. It seems like an effective approach to me.

Are you familiar with the Prison Fellowship? If so, what do you think of it?

--Dave

[Just Thinking]

Dave,

From a purely pragmatic point of view, Prison Fellowship is worth supporting simply because it reduces the number of prisoners that will return to prison. Those who become Christians in jail are far less likely to come back. The return rate after 3 years is typically reduced from 80% that DO return to 80% that DON'T return.

Punishment doesn't change much, and can make things much worse, too. But a true change in heart does make a difference. Those who repent and offer their life to Jesus Christ really can change. Chuck Colson was one huge jerk that became another miracle of God and one fruit of that was Prison Fellowship.

IFI is effective and nobody has to particpate in such programs; so I doubt (mostly hope) that rulings against IFI will not hold up, just for this reason.

Organizations such as prison fellowship can be dangerous. Some in recent years have tried to supplant chaplain programs by offering sherrif's departments nearly free Chaplains. The end result is that money legally required to maintain chaplain services is siphoned off into other programs and, then, donors are expected to cough up the funds to pay for the Chaplains, including ones supporting religions with which they do not agree. It's a power grab by some so-called charitable organizations.

I don't mind supporting chaplains of all sorts through tax dollars, but money donated through Christian Churches to support prison ministry should not go to pay for non-Christian Chaplains. And I don't see why taxpayers should want to turn down non-compulsory programs that keep convicts from coming back. Even California is enlightened enough to pay for outside organizations such as IFI that will save them money and keep people out of prisons.

[Dave Miller]

JT, thank you for your response. It was very informative.

[Just Thinking]

Speaking of prison ... today we have Scooter Libby's prison sentence commuted because the President thought that it was too harsh. And we have a ruling from the Supreme Court that there can be absolutely no tolerance for a late appeal, even in the case where a judge misstated the deadline as 17 days instead of 14. What a load of crap.