Jan. 28-29, 2006 weekend
Jan. 31, 2006

Jan. 30, 2006

BUT FIRST, THIS:

Gov. Mitt Romney of Massachusetts is working to convince voters that his Mormon religion would not and should not be any obstacle to him running for president in 2008. What's your view?

* * *

Only because it's Monday. That's why I've decided today to lighten things up with another collection of alleged religious humor.

Natalie_1If you don't like this collection (many of which come from Beliefnet.com), send me better jokes, especially ones that deal with religions besides Christianity. As for the jokes here today, see if you can manage more than the smirky grin I got from my young friend here.

1. Pat was driving down the street and was in a sweat because he had an important meeting and could not find a parking space.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I'll give up drinking and go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life."

Just then, miraculously, a parking place opened up for him.

Pat looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."

2. Two Hindu swamis were talking.

One said, "How did you like my latest book, The Art of Levitation?"

His friend replied, "It kept me up all night."

3. A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church and sat down in a confession box, but said nothing.

The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the man said nothing. The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally the drunk replied, "No use knockin' mate, there's no paper in this one either."

4. A Hindu adherent asked God, represented by the mutl-armed Lord Naravana, this: "My dear lord, I understand you have many inconceivable potencies. But out of all of them, the energy of light seems to be the most amazing. Light pervades the spiritual world, it illuminates the material universes and life is impossible without it. I would like to know how you make it work."

"Oh, that's easy," was the reply. "Many hands make light work."

5. O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for 20 years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent.

"Father," he said, "it's 15 years since my last confession and I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years."

"I understand, my son," said the priest. "Can you make a Novena?"

O'Toole replied, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."

To read my latest Kansas City Star work, click here.

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