It's way past time for a humor break here on the blog. There's been so much darn serious stuff going on that we've ignored funny stuff. But ignoring funny stuff is always a bad idea.
So here are a few alleged jokes with faith themes. They aren't original with me. I swiped them from hither and yon. If you have better ones, e-mail them to me.
The pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord.”
My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”
2. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she charged.
“You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.
It was Eve. “What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.
“Counting your ribs,” said Eve.
3. A little boy wants a bike for Christmas really badly, but the kid is a bad seed, and he knows it.
He writes a letter to Jesus. “Dear Jesus, if I get a bike for Christmas, I’ll be good for a whole week.” He thinks about it, crosses out what he wrote, and says, “I can’t be good for a whole week, I’ll be good for five days.” He crosses that out and writes, “I’ll be good for four days.” Then he thinks again and says, “Can’t do that.” He gets down to one day and says, “I can’t even be good for a day.”
Then in frustration, goes in his mother’s room and get the statue of the Virgin Mary, wraps it up in a blanket, puts it in a paper bag, throws it in the closet and writes, “Dear Jesus, if I don’t get a bike for Christmas, you’ll never see your mother again!”
4. A woman confesses to a friend: "My husband and I divorced for religious reasons. He thought he was God. I didn’t."
* * *
MORE RESURGENT ANTISEMITISM
There's been a new wave of threats against Jewish community centers in the U.S., bringing the recent total to nearly 60. And although President Trump has declined to speak out directly against antisemitism (until, finally, yesterday in these remarks), at least his daughter, Ivanka, a convert to Judaism, is doing that. Sometimes children have to be the adult model for their parents.