Well, let's face it. We've been way too serious here for far too long.
So it's time for a humor break. I remind you, as I often do, that the faith-based jokes I share here are not original with me. (What joke is original with anyone?) If they were original with me they'd be funnier. Oh, they would too.
Anyway, take a breath and chuckle a bit at these:
1. An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course, child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please."
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced
back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?”
3. A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence: "I think I'd throw up."
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SETTING THEOCRATIC RULES
For people who want a theocracy or something close to it, what you get is what you're now getting in Malaysia, where this week a court ruled that newspapers there can't use the term "Allah" to refer to God, even though Allah is simply the Arabic word for God. In a theocracy, you get the whole weight of government, including the courts, defending and protecting a certain faith. America has said no thanks to that for centuries. And still should.
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P.S.: My latest National Catholic Reporter column now is online. To read it, click here.
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ANOTHER P.S.: Don't forget the talk this evening by a Georgetown professor on "Trent and Vatican II: Two Misunderstood Councils" at Visitation Catholic Parish, 52nd and Main.